New Year’s Resolutions of a Knife Collector

Be it resolved that in the Year 2010, I will not:

  • Proudly pull the knife I just purchased out of my pocket to show someone only to see him drop it.
  • Give any more of my favorite knives to TSA employees because I forgot to take them out of my pocket before going through airport security.
  • Want to buy all the new-fangled knives I see at the Blade Show.
  • Start buying knives I don’t collect on a whim.
  • Give in to the temptation to buy a knife just cause it is a good deal, when I already have 12 of that same knife that I bought because they were a good deal too.
  • Buy a knife collection when I hear myself saying, “Well, I’ll sell all the ones I already have to help pay for it.”- cause I never do.
  • Buy a knife at the first table I come to when at a knife show- cause I always find one I’d rather have on down the row.
  • In my excitement for my new knife tell my better half about it, only to then have her ask how much it cost.
  • Travel to a knife show without taking a knife to trade.
  • Lust over knives owned by other collectors (but will let them know IF they ever decide to sell, I want first dibs).
  • Fall asleep waiting on an eBay auction to end when I wanted to bid before it closed.
  • Rationalize every knife I want to buy with this “Well, I may not ever see another one again.”
  • Rationalize a seller’s asking price for an old knife with “I know he’s asking a fortune, but it is in really good condition.”
  • Put my knife collection up (out of sight) in an effort to make more room in my office for the other “knife stuff” I buy.
  • Show my knife friends the most recent knife I bought when they are only going to say, “That knife ain’t right.”
  • Read a knife forum’s thread trashing and bashing a knife, or a seller, on eBay.
  • Take a seller’s word for a knife’s condition when he only provides a vague description on eBay.
  • Pay top dollar for a knife when the seller uses the “It’s in excellent condition for its age.”
  • Tell someone what I paid for a knife only to hear him say, “Well, that guy offered it to me for less than that.”
Published in: on January 1, 2010 at 10:26 am  Comments (4)  
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Folks who don’t collect knives just don’t get it

Knife collectors have screws loose

It’s a well established fact knife collectors can be viewed as a little out of whack. A bit odd. And not just from the anti-knife crowd, but by our closest friends.

It even gets worse when you throw old knives into the mix.

Well, I had a funny thing happen getting my hair cut a few days ago I thought you’d find amusing.

You know the routine- you sit there getting your hair snipped while your barber or beautician stylist politely entertains you by asking questions about your family, work, any planned trips for the holidays and any other areas he/she knows you are into.

Paul, my hair cut guy, knows I’m a knife collector, along with everyone else in my little universe, and after we’d covered all the other topics, he finally worked around to asking about my hobby.

“Bought any knives lately?” he asked.

I don’t know about you but I really don’t like getting into the details about my knife collecting hobby with non-knife collectors. It often leads to questions about- if I use them, how much they cost and how many I have, and questions like that. So I thought for a moment about how to respond and then remembered I did just buy me a new old knife off ebay that didn’t cost my last other leg.

“Well, yes, I have,” thinking I found an example safe to talk about. “I bought me an old one off eBay.” Then I made the mistake of adding one more tidbit about this purchase when I should have left well enough alone, but out it came before I realized it- “Yeh, its blades were broken off.”

Case TESTED XX Green Bone Toenail (1920- 1940)

Now remember most non-knife collecting folks already think we have a couple of screws loose.

When he absorbed what I said, he looked at me with the oddest look. I knew I had said too much. “It’s blades are broken off?” he questioned. I was at the point of no return and the hole was only getting deeper. “Yes,” I said, “you know I collect old knives and thought it’d be cool to have an old toenail with both blades broken.”

Then realizing he might be about to embarrass me by continuing to ask about something he thought was probably the stupidest thing he’d ever heard, he said,

“Oh, I get it. It’s like a car collector buying a car without any wheels on it, right?”

I swear those were his exact words. And at that point all I could do was say- “Yeh.”