New Year’s Resolutions of a Knife Collector

Be it resolved that in the Year 2010, I will not:

• Proudly pull the knife I just purchased out of my pocket to show someone only to see him drop it.
• Give any more of my favorite knives to TSA employees because I forgot to take them out of my pocket before going through airport security.
• Want to buy all the new-fangled knives I see at the Blade Show.
• Start buying knives I don’t collect on a whim.
• Give in to the temptation to buy a knife just cause it is a good deal, when I already have 12 of that same knife that I bought because they were a good deal too.
• Buy a knife collection when I hear myself saying, “Well, I’ll sell all the ones I already have to help pay for it.”- cause I never do.
• Buy a knife at the first table I come to when at a knife show- cause I always find one I’d rather have on down the row.
• In my excitement for my new knife tell my better half about it, only to then have her ask how much it cost.
• Travel to a knife show without taking a knife to trade.
• Lust over knives owned by other collectors (but will let them know IF they ever decide to sell, I want first dibs).
• Fall asleep waiting on an eBay auction to end when I wanted to bid before it closed.
• Rationalize every knife I want to buy with this “Well, I may not ever see another one again.”
• Rationalize a seller’s asking price for an old knife with “I know he’s asking a fortune, but it is in really good condition.”
• Put my knife collection up (out of sight) in an effort to make more room in my office for the other “knife stuff” I buy.
• Show my knife friends the most recent knife I bought when they are only going to say, “That knife ain’t right.”
• Read a knife forum’s thread trashing and bashing a knife, or a seller, on eBay.
• Take a seller’s word for a knife’s condition when he only provides a vague description on eBay.
• Pay top dollar for a knife when the seller uses the “It’s in excellent condition for its age.”
• Tell someone what I paid for a knife only to hear him say, “Well, that guy offered it to me for less than that.”